I’ve spent more than 20 years getting comfortable with the work.
Give me a technical problem, a broken integration, a website that needs rebuilding or an idea that needs to become something real and I’m happy.
I can sit down, put my head down and figure it out.
People are harder.
One thing I’ve had to admit since starting Bunker41 is that networking is probably one of my biggest weaknesses.
Which is a bit inconvenient when you’re trying to build a business.
I’m pretty introverted. I don’t naturally walk into a room and start introducing myself to strangers. Sending a message to someone I don’t know can somehow feel more uncomfortable than spending hours debugging a ridiculous problem in code.
My instinct has always been to let the work speak for itself.
The problem is the work can’t speak to people who don’t know it exists.
I was posting, but I wasn’t really networking
When I started becoming more active on LinkedIn, I mostly treated it as a place to publish.
Write something.
Post it.
Check the reactions.
Move on.
That was comfortable because it was still mostly one-way communication.
Over the past month, I’ve been trying to change that.
I’ve been answering more comments. Responding to DMs instead of leaving them sitting there because I’m not sure what to say. Connecting with new people and actually asking what they do.
I’ve even started reaching out first sometimes.
That still feels weird.
But I’ve also had some genuinely good conversations.
Developers building businesses of their own. People running agencies. People trying to build something on the side while working full time. Business owners trying to figure out where AI fits into what they do.
Not every conversation is going anywhere.
And I’m starting to realize that’s kind of the point.
I had the wrong idea about networking
For years, when I heard “networking,” I pictured name tags, business cards and a room full of people trying to work out what everyone else could do for them.
That has never appealed to me.
I don’t want every conversation to become a sales pitch.
I don’t want to message someone I’ve never spoken to and immediately ask if they need a website.
And I don’t want to pretend to be interested in somebody because they might become a client someday.
That feels fake.
What I’ve been doing lately feels different.
Someone comments on something I wrote. I respond. We talk. Maybe we connect. Maybe we keep in touch.
Maybe six months from now one of us remembers the other when something comes up.
Or maybe nothing ever comes from it.
That’s okay.
I think I’m finally understanding that networking doesn’t have to mean collecting leads.
Sometimes it’s just getting to know good people.
That I can get behind.
A one-person business still needs people
There’s a funny contradiction in building a one-person business.
Yes, I want to see how much I can build on my own.
That’s a big part of Bunker41 and a big part of why I started writing One Person, Real Business.
But doing business alone doesn’t mean building in isolation.
I still need clients.
I need people who know what I do.
I need designers, developers and other specialists I trust if a project eventually gets bigger than what I can reasonably handle myself.
I need people I can send work to when something isn’t right for me.
And I need people who have already made some of the mistakes I’m probably going to make.
That network matters.
Maybe more than I gave it credit for.
My first major Bunker41 client didn’t come from advertising, SEO or some complicated marketing funnel.
It came through a relationship.
That should probably tell me something.
Hiding behind the work is easy
This is probably the biggest trap for me.
There is always something I can build instead.
I can improve the website.
Tweak a process.
Build another feature.
Try another tool.
Start another product.
All of that feels productive because I’m comfortable doing it.
Reaching out to someone and saying, “Hey, I liked what you wrote,” somehow feels less like work.
But building another feature nobody asked for isn’t necessarily more useful than talking to somebody who might teach me something, introduce me to someone, work with me someday or simply become a good person to know.
I’ve had to remind myself of that a lot lately.
Because if I’m being realistic, I’m probably not going to build the business I want by sitting quietly in my office waiting for people to discover me.
I don’t need to become an extrovert
I’m not trying to change my personality.
I’m probably never going to be the guy working the room at a huge networking event.
That’s fine.
What I can do is get better at having conversations.
Respond when somebody takes the time to comment.
Ask people what they’re working on.
Reach out when I genuinely find someone or their work interesting.
Keep in touch without needing a reason.
That feels more natural.
And maybe networking as an introvert isn’t about meeting as many people as possible.
Maybe it’s about building a smaller number of real relationships and giving them time.
That’s what I’m trying to do now.
I’m still not great at it.
But over the past month I’ve talked to more new people than I probably have in a long time, and I’m glad I pushed myself to do it.
Some of those conversations will probably go nowhere.
Some might turn into friendships.
Some might turn into referrals, collaborations or clients years from now.
I don’t really know.
And for once, I don’t think I need to.
I’ve spent most of my career learning how to build things.
Maybe this next chapter is learning how to build relationships too.
If you’re an introvert building a business, how do you approach networking without making it feel forced?
I’m sharing the real process of building Bunker41 alongside a career and family through One Person, Real Business — the wins, mistakes, decisions and things I’m still figuring out.
If you’re building something of your own too, I’d love to have you along for the ride.